Praying as we Ought

My wife, son and I have been on a year long journey providing foster care for a beautiful 5 year old who is soon to be adopted by her "forever family". It has been a difficult year, with many stresses, as God has used her in our lives, maybe more than he has used us in her life. We recently went to a "Red File Staffing" where the case workers present potential adoptive families to us, her case manager, and the counselling staff who has been working with our foster child.

Needless to say, we spent a lot of time in prayer that God would make it clear which family would be right for her. We prayed for a Christian family with a strong faith and devotion to the Lord. We prayed that God would prepare that family for being new adoptive parents. We prayed for this little girl, that she would have peace and a smooth transition. We have prayed for our son, that he would cope well with her going home.


On the way to the meeting last week, one final prayer while driving; "God, please make it clear which family you have prepared for adopting this little girl, and please let them be a Christian family."


Once the meeting started three families were presented to us by their case workers. The presentation involved materials the family had prepared about themselves, such as photos, family history and general details about their activities, hobbies and parenting philosophies. Oh yeah, it also mentioned their religion. I should preface all of this by noting that in a prior meeting about what would be important in selecting an adoptive family, one of the attendants at the meeting spoke up and said that it would be important that the family be supportive of her interest in Christianity, as "she always talks about it when we are together."


After the presentation of the families, one of our prayers was answered. It was very clear which family God had in mind. This family has a background in Christianity, but not currently attending church. According to the information they had provided they were looking for a non-denominational church. I don't know if they are believers, only God does. It did not sound like an aspect of their lives currently. But I do know this, I realized during that meeting, that once again I do not know how to pray. I had been praying for my will, not God's will. I thought, surely the family needs to be Christian. That is how God will work out her salvation.


"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." Isaiah 55:8


I was convicted in that meeting that I don't know what to pray for. My prayer life is limited by my life experiences. My view of God is limited by my thoughts and ways. "If I was going to save that little girl, here is how I would do it."

In Romans chapter 8, the apostle Paul writes about life in the spirit. He writes how we are not in the flesh, but in the spirit "...if in fact, the Spirit of God dwells in you." (verse 9) Therefore, if we in fact have the Spirit of God dwelling in us, what impact should that have on our prayer life? Well the spiritual answer is that we should always be praying in the spirit. But if you are like me, you might often feel an uncertainty about prayer. Thankfully, in the same chapter of Romans Paul provides encouragement for those of us with a small measure of faith. In verse 26, Paul writes, through the Holy Spirit, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."

That itself is a great encouragement, that God the Holy Spirit takes my selfish and limited prayers and somehow takes them to God the Father. But, that's not all. In verse 27, Paul continues, "And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." This is also a great encouragement. My prayers reach God not in our limited, selfish way, but deciphered through the Holy Spirit "according to the will of God"

And finally, in verse 28 Paul writes, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

So in the final analysis, although we do not know God's hidden will, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us so that our feeble attempts at prayer are taken before the throne in a manner that is worthy of God's ear.

God has shown me through this experience that my prayer life is lacking. I am praying for my will, cloaked in spirituality. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit would enable me to pray for God's will in God's way, not God's will in my way. My prayer is also that the depth of my relationship with God will continue to grow as I seek His will not mine.

Soli deo Gloria